yay, while I'm still working on my main fic, I got the funnies infesting me, so I decided to work on a comedy as well as my main fic is going to get really depressing soon, and I don't wanna be depressed .__. anyway, it's a parody of .hack//sign, following that plot, with pop culture references, fight scenes, GIFT bleedovers, typos, n00bs, board member cameos, and stupidity to a whole new level, enjoy ^_^
Episode One
Role Playing (like a twink)
*In a Beach, there's a giant cellphone or something, static and whatnot, a giant feminine hand whacks the phone and it starts working*
???: Finally! stupid Verizon Wireless!
*mmkay, we're in an icky cave, and some albino geek is unconcious on the floor with a broken spine, he wakes up with a hangover*
Albino: ugh, god, that was SOME party, I hope my dad doesn't find out I stole his beer *tries to get up* OW! MY SPINE! SH!T! *notices the gummy crap all over him* ew, I got gum in my hair *waves hands around like a prissy girl* EWWW! like, omg, teh ickay!
*girl with big sword comes in*
Sword Chick: Hiya! I'm Mimiru! *notices the Geek is on the floor* um, u ok?
Geek: NO IM NOT OK U DUMARSE! MY HEAD IS HALFWAY UP MY BUTT!
Chick: wow, what a loser!
Geek: oh shut up! *plays Song of Time on his Ocarina and warps out*
*in the Temple of Time, some princess is there*
Princess: *gasp* The Hero of Time! save us!
Geek: woah, acid trip! *warps away again*
*in some city or something, the Geek is sitting next to a very short well where he can fall in or something like in that Simpsons episode, but luckily doesn't*
Geek: *thinks* dude, I can't remember anything before I woke up, OMFG AMNESSIA!
*bug crawls on foot*
Geek: stupid bug *stabs bug and kills it, and stabs his foot in the process* OW! F@CK! THAT HURTS! *gasps, and realizes something is fux0red up*
*some knight dudes walk up with swords, the Geek prepares to defend himself, but he's probably a weenie, and it's not like he can get up anyway with his spine*
Leader Dude: Halt! we are not here to fight! we are the Gods, er, Mods, of the World! we protect Courage, Power, and Wisdom, and protect the World from evil doings and people who try and steal the Tri-er, hack the game >.> anyway, we saw you with a cat hacker, or something, we have no idea that it's an AI
Geek: Cat? *area goes black as the cat just sorta walks by* dude, it's right there!
LD: eh?
Geek: I'm pointing at it with my staff, it's right there by the Windmill!
*the Knights gag the guy and drag him to Mac Anu Mental Institution, AKA the jail thing in that one episode, the Geek merely warps out with the Ocarina, like any sensible person would*
Geek: Retards...*warps*
*appears in mountain town place, er, something, and the whiny Sword Chick is waiting for him*
Mimiru: Butthole! you just left me like a moron
Tsukasa: dude, I don't even know you, you want me to stay still while you rob me or something?
Mimiru: oh, U haev a point, BTW, I got this wierd installation book that lets me summon a Guardian when you left, it's pretty cool, wanna-
*Mimiru is knocked out with a poison dart by the Cat, who grabs the Guardian and stuffs it in a Chest, puts on shades, and erases everyone's memories MIB style, then leaves*
Mimiru: *wakes up* so what was I saying?
Tsukasa: *shrug*
Tsukasa: d00d, idea, WTF, I'm going to log out now! *logs out, trippy seizure crap ensues, Tsukasa is really just puffing Aromatic Grass, the author is shot in the kidney by Elk the Mod*
Tsukasa: WTF! I can't LOG OUT!
Mimiru: dude, yes you can, all you did was puff Aromatic Grass, you didn't even try!
*Cat does MIB thing again, and thinks that the next time Mimiru interferes, she's just going to die, see the episode with the upside down city*
Tsukasa: *turns to Mimiru* your a sl@t *warps*
Mimiru *looks at her outfit* well, he has a point...
*Tsukasa rides a fat@ss grunty into the wall of some fort repeatedly*
Tsukasa: what a retard!
Grunty: *gets p!ssed, rams into the wall really hard and it's head explodes*
Tsukasa: *gets covered in blood* HOLY SH!T! *warps out with his bloody clothes, broken spine, and punctured foot*
*Tsukasa throws his Ocarina into some pond, and a fat@ss spirit comes out*
Spirit: um, you dropped your crap in my pond
Tsukasa: *tries to stab the thingie*
Spirit: *dodges* ASS! *steals Tsukasa's rare level 99 staff and goes into the pond*
Tsukasa: DAMMIT!
Bear: *roars*
Other Bear: LOL!!!11 U R teh funnay, n00b!
BT: *runs up* you asshole! you left me to fight that level 48 Aexemaster by myself!
Bear: *after Tsukasa left* did you win?
BT: NO! I'm a frickin' WAVEMASTER! all I can do is heal wounds and make a crappy sheild that can be punctured by jello! *see episode 25* And after that, some dude that dances with knifes killed me! AGAIN!
Bear: LOL! sux 2 B U!
*In Mac Anu, Ginkan is talking to some angel chick in a boat*
Subaru: blah blah morals
Ginkan: um, this boat is going really fast...
Subaru: because the Author, erm, GOD! want's to skip this scene, since he needs to get to the hosptial
Ginkan: too fast...*Boat hits the wall and Subaru and Ginkan fall into the water, which they learn is deep, Ginkan steps on Subaru, effectively drowning her as he uses her as a step to get to dry land*
*Commercial, as the Author goes to the hospital, taking Tsukasa with him, Tsukasa is alos given a new staff, but this one blows and is only level 5, Subaru and Ginkan dry up and Mimiru gets a new costume she borrowed from Bear*
Tsukasa: AHH! MY EYES!
*ERM! BACK TO THE SHOW!*
*Tsukasa is by another Gate thingie as he lifts his staff over his head*
Tsukasa: BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL! *gets all buff as he gets a cool Tiger Grunty* erm, nice, but that doesn't really solve my problem...
*BEEP! at this time, Mimiru would be appearing and whatnot, but since she made a really wrong move, she has been replaced by En Der*
En Der: *Logs in dressed like Mimiru, sticks his tounge out and Tsukasa catches* erm, um...this isn't what it looks like!
Tsukasa: have you ever been unable to log out?
EnDer: Um, I just got here dude, I never even tried!
Tsukasa: erm...*walks off with his kickarse grunty and muscles*
*on a hill*
EnDer: so, you can't log out, or...
Tsukasa: NO SHIT! it's only the plot of the whole series, stupid!
Ender: d00d ur a buthol, LOFL U SUCKITY SUCK!!!111
Tsukasa: *slapped by Ender and he cries like a little girl, despite his He-Man muscles* WEEEEAAAAAH! *runs off, the Grunty thing kinda falls off the ledge and dies, it was a useless prop anyway*
*Subaru and Ginkan interview some fatass*
Subaru: so, your friend traded with a hacked player, and he's surprised he got hacked?
Pudgy: I know, what a retard, we broke up because of it
Ginkan: *gulp* broke up?
Pudgy: yea, we had a real intimate relationship
*Subaru and Ginkan run like hell*
*Tsukasa is in that creepy dungeon again, god, what kind of sick f@ck makes you explore the insides of a whale?*
Tsukasa: this Treasure Box, I think I've opened it, and then...
*flashback, Tsukasa opens it and gets a rare level 99 staff "KICKASS!*
Tsukasa: yea, then I tripped, and then, my spine broke...
Maha: *appears and stuff, trippy*
Tsukasa: Maho?
Maha: *slaps Tsukasa* it's MAHA stupid! it says so right there! *points to his name* now open the damn chest before I break more than your spine!*dissapears*
Tsukasa: *quickly opens the chest as a tablet or something comes out*
???: I've been waiting for you, for such a long time...I need you, just like you need me. Let us Walk together, even though i'm a voice, if we walk together, I will beat the hell out of your enemies. *tablet dissapears and stuff*
Tsukasa" HOLY CRAP! there's a voice in my head! I'm SCHIZO! *runs like hell*
*Ginkan appears and Tsukasa tries to warp*
Ginkan: it's no use, I placed a barrier!
Tsukasa: WTF? your just a player like me! what a hypocrite, eliminating hacking my ass! *Tsukasa runs*
Ginkan: *backflips in the air and lands infront of Tsukasa*
Tsukasa: WTF? HAX! *blocks sword and kicks Ginkan's ass with He-Man muscles*
Ginkan: *uses his hacks to knock Tsukasa into the wall, breaking his spine AGAIN, his He-Man muscles dissapear* get up, ya weenie!
Tsukasa: I would if my spine wasn't BROKEN, you butthole!
Ginkan: *prepares to kill Tsukasa, but a monster appears and protects Tsukasa*
Tsukasa: oh HELL YEA!
Ginkan: *defends himself, but his sword is like, paper or something because the jello punctures it and Data Drains him*
Tsukasa: Oh my God! you killed Ginkan! you bastard! wait...*scratches head*
Guardian: *gets all close to Tsukasa and does that souls of the damned face thing and dissapears, just to screw with him*
Tsukasa: *screams, but then takes Ginkan's stuff and runs, he won't be needing it anyway*
Tsukasa: *muses about how the real world sucks, and kills a bug, what they didn't show you, is before he squashed the bug, the bug went all Kung Fu and grabbed the staff and beat him with it, as millions of bugs come and tie Tsukasa to the ground with ropes and stakes, then they lay their eggs in his flesh, and 3 weeks later, they hatch and eat him from the inside, Tsukasa comes back from the dead though, since he's a Twink like that*
*In the real world, everything's black and white, since the great Kansas boredom epidemic infects japan, some hospital dudes, find some chick unconcious infront of her computer, with a broken spine, one guy looks up her skirt when no one's looking during the credits*
.crack//SPINE!
Moderators: Sora, Balmung, Bear, Kite
.crack//SPINE!
Rectos Dominos
Chapter 2: Gardenia, erm, Guardian
*Tsukasa is standing there in the thunder storm, holding a peice of paper and reads it monotoniously*
Tsukasa: it...can't...Bay, erm, be! um, guys? shouldn't I get inside? it's getting pretty bad...
*Lightning strikes Tsukasa's Staff, which is amplified by his staff which is Lightning elemental, multiplying the pain 10 fold* AH!!11 SHIT!
*Tsukasa is holding some kind of onion thing that's all dancing and stuff, Tsukasa throws it into the Grunty pen*
Tsukasa: HOLY SHIT! what was that thing!?
Grunty: *eats it and turns into a noble grunty* eh, I didn't wanna grow up and stuff
Tsukasa: HOLY CRAP It's ASEXUAL! *stabs the grunty repeatedly until it dies so it can't escape and infect other Grunties!* The World lives for another day...
*Tsukasa kinda walks by Bear*
Bear: Yo, see the BBS
Tsukasa: dude, give it up old man, your not cool *walks off*
Bear: *cries*
*Mimiru walks unto the scene in her slut outfit again, Tsukasa stops when he sees her*
Tsukasa: holy crap! they let you back on the show?
Mimiru: hey, I don't wanna talk about that!
Tsukasa: alright, slut *walks off*
*Bear jumps infront of Mimiru*
Bear: HEY! oh, it's just the slut, I thought you were the hot chick
Mimiru: *drops her sword in shock and sighs* your lucky I dropped my sword!
Bear: Cat?
Mimiru: yea, It walked right by the Crimson Knights and they didn't notice it
Bear: so you don't like the Crimson Knights?
Mimiru: no! they're retarded hypocrites! look at episode 1 dude!
Bear: yea, and the fact that Tsukasa can't log out concerns me but...
Mimiru: he deserves it?
Bear: yea, let's go kill a Noble Grunty
Mimiru: mmkay
*in some castle place, Sora is chasing after BT and gets her in a headlock*
Sora: your it!
BT: *giggles* I'm gonna get you!
Sora: yea right *logs out*
BT: ACK! asshole!
*Subaru and one of the Knights is on the boat, it's going slower*
Knight: Lady Subaru, the patch is working, now people won't be PKer when they ride the boat that only we ride for some stupid reason
Subaru: good
Knight: oh yea, Ginkan had a concussion, some say Tsukasa did it
Subaru: yea...Tsukasa *hides bloody Axe and she goes GIFT form as the moon turns full* you may leave!
*Tsukasa skipped the stupid scene with the Chaos Gate, and is next to the ridiculously large skeleton, he's digging a hole or something*
Tsukasa: Jesus Christ! first a Whale's stomach as a dungeon and now a giant skeleton, Lios is a sick bastard!
*Maha appears in thin air patting it's butt, and is extremely suggestive*
Tsukasa: whoa, Author, don't go there!
Author: *erases everyone's memories MIB style*
*at the Chaos Gate in Dun Loreing*
Bear: what an asshole!
BT: I know! he tagged me and then logged out! I was like "Fish out of Water" and he didn't care, and he left his member address
Bear: take good care of his member address
BT: why?
Bear: because, you can then kill him when he least expects it and be all like "tag, no tag backs!"
BT: *smiles insidiously*
*Tsukasa and Maha are talking and stuff, Maha is making gestures and talking without sound*
Tsukasa: what the hell are you saying?
Maha: *silence*
Tsukasa: eh?
Maha *rolls eyes* go to where you got your guardian and go through the wall, stupid! *warps out*
*Tsukasa is going through the Whale's Stomach, and Sora is following him and stuff*
Tsukasa: here? *touches the wall, which is all squishy* eww, sick! *gets sucked in* shit! it's eating me!!!11*dissapears, Sora does stuff that isn't important*
*Tsukasa appears in what can only be defined as the best acid trip ever!*
Aura: *floats there*
Tsukasa: whoa, Space Baby from Space Oddysey and Aura from .hack//sign, seperated at birth or what?
*commercial*
Hey Guys! want hot, beautiful cat hybrids? well you've gotta get Flame Sage's all new video, Cats Gone Wild! enter the lives of these hot kitty college students as they do things we're not allowed to show you, but we don't care anyway! *shows uncensored cat buttsecks* WOOO!*Flame Sage gets fired and this show gets sued, so we gotta put up with crappy budget cuts*
*because we have low budgets, we had to skip an entire 5 minute scene, and go right to where Tsukasa gets a new power*
Tsukasa: dude, this chick's mysterious
???: Tsukasa, can you here me?
Tsukasa: IT'S THE VOICE!
???: No you dumbass, I'm an omnipresent....god, yea..I'm god! muhahaha erm, um, Thou Shalt...Not...Wake up the Demon Girl, yea
Tsukasa: what should I do?
???: contact the slut
Tsukasa: ewww
???: I know you want a good time, Tsukasa, besides, you have a Guardian with you, you don't have to pay her
*flashback of Ginkan dying*
Tsukasa: sweeet! *thinks* AND I can have Maha, watch my new porn video, and make out with this sleeping chick while she's asleep, muhahaha
???: Tsukasa, I can hear you
Tsukasa: *gulp* oops
???: anyway, normally I'd be giving you a new power, but we got budget cuts, so use this *gives him magic looking key*
Tsukasa: what's this?
???: the Key of the Twilight
Tsukasa: isn't that supposed to be an intangible concept?
*Maha appears and erases Tsukasa's memories MIB style*
*Tsukasa meets Mimiru and Bear, blame budget cuts for scene skipping, damn you Flame Sage*
Tsukasa: what's the Scottsman doing here?
Mimiru: you didn't say to come alone
Tsukasa :yes I did, you dumb broad, are you illiterate?
Mimiru: *re-reads Email* oh that, I thought you were asking if I wanted a scone
Bear: so um, how come you can't log out?
Tsukasa: I dunno, dipshit, maybe because I'm not in my freaking body?
*Tsukasa's Shadow expands and whatnot looking demonic, WTF is up with that?*
Tsukasa's Shadow: *turns into an evil rogue AI* Hi!
EVERYONE: O.o
TS: um...did I come at a wrong time? >.>
EVERYONE: *nods*
TS: ok, meet you all in Net Slum *Gates Out*
Tsukasa: WTF?
Bear and Mimiru: *Step back*
Tsukasa: anyway...
Mimiru: dude, Ginkan, he's like, unconcious and stuff
Bear: you sorta killed Ginkan, you bastard!
Tsukasa: he had it coming
Mimiru: yea, true
Bear: dude, the Knights want you, wake up Neo, i mean, Tsukasa, the Matrix, er, World has you
Tsukasa: meh, my Guardian will kill them
Mimiru: and harm the real world players? you asshole!
Tsukasa: what do you want me to do about it?
Bear: how about NOT using your Guardian, dipshit
Tsukasa: point
Guardian: *appears and stuff*
Bear: *tries to be badass and tries to kill the guardian, even though it has freaking INFINITE health, dumbass*
Mimiru: *standing around scared like girls always do in horror movies, stupid broads*
Tsukasa: *isn't doing shit either, even though he CONTROLS the damn thing, time stops*
All: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!
*Tsukasa is standing there in the thunder storm, holding a peice of paper and reads it monotoniously*
Tsukasa: it...can't...Bay, erm, be! um, guys? shouldn't I get inside? it's getting pretty bad...
*Lightning strikes Tsukasa's Staff, which is amplified by his staff which is Lightning elemental, multiplying the pain 10 fold* AH!!11 SHIT!
*Tsukasa is holding some kind of onion thing that's all dancing and stuff, Tsukasa throws it into the Grunty pen*
Tsukasa: HOLY SHIT! what was that thing!?
Grunty: *eats it and turns into a noble grunty* eh, I didn't wanna grow up and stuff
Tsukasa: HOLY CRAP It's ASEXUAL! *stabs the grunty repeatedly until it dies so it can't escape and infect other Grunties!* The World lives for another day...
*Tsukasa kinda walks by Bear*
Bear: Yo, see the BBS
Tsukasa: dude, give it up old man, your not cool *walks off*
Bear: *cries*
*Mimiru walks unto the scene in her slut outfit again, Tsukasa stops when he sees her*
Tsukasa: holy crap! they let you back on the show?
Mimiru: hey, I don't wanna talk about that!
Tsukasa: alright, slut *walks off*
*Bear jumps infront of Mimiru*
Bear: HEY! oh, it's just the slut, I thought you were the hot chick
Mimiru: *drops her sword in shock and sighs* your lucky I dropped my sword!
Bear: Cat?
Mimiru: yea, It walked right by the Crimson Knights and they didn't notice it
Bear: so you don't like the Crimson Knights?
Mimiru: no! they're retarded hypocrites! look at episode 1 dude!
Bear: yea, and the fact that Tsukasa can't log out concerns me but...
Mimiru: he deserves it?
Bear: yea, let's go kill a Noble Grunty
Mimiru: mmkay
*in some castle place, Sora is chasing after BT and gets her in a headlock*
Sora: your it!
BT: *giggles* I'm gonna get you!
Sora: yea right *logs out*
BT: ACK! asshole!
*Subaru and one of the Knights is on the boat, it's going slower*
Knight: Lady Subaru, the patch is working, now people won't be PKer when they ride the boat that only we ride for some stupid reason
Subaru: good
Knight: oh yea, Ginkan had a concussion, some say Tsukasa did it
Subaru: yea...Tsukasa *hides bloody Axe and she goes GIFT form as the moon turns full* you may leave!
*Tsukasa skipped the stupid scene with the Chaos Gate, and is next to the ridiculously large skeleton, he's digging a hole or something*
Tsukasa: Jesus Christ! first a Whale's stomach as a dungeon and now a giant skeleton, Lios is a sick bastard!
*Maha appears in thin air patting it's butt, and is extremely suggestive*
Tsukasa: whoa, Author, don't go there!
Author: *erases everyone's memories MIB style*
*at the Chaos Gate in Dun Loreing*
Bear: what an asshole!
BT: I know! he tagged me and then logged out! I was like "Fish out of Water" and he didn't care, and he left his member address
Bear: take good care of his member address
BT: why?
Bear: because, you can then kill him when he least expects it and be all like "tag, no tag backs!"
BT: *smiles insidiously*
*Tsukasa and Maha are talking and stuff, Maha is making gestures and talking without sound*
Tsukasa: what the hell are you saying?
Maha: *silence*
Tsukasa: eh?
Maha *rolls eyes* go to where you got your guardian and go through the wall, stupid! *warps out*
*Tsukasa is going through the Whale's Stomach, and Sora is following him and stuff*
Tsukasa: here? *touches the wall, which is all squishy* eww, sick! *gets sucked in* shit! it's eating me!!!11*dissapears, Sora does stuff that isn't important*
*Tsukasa appears in what can only be defined as the best acid trip ever!*
Aura: *floats there*
Tsukasa: whoa, Space Baby from Space Oddysey and Aura from .hack//sign, seperated at birth or what?
*commercial*
Hey Guys! want hot, beautiful cat hybrids? well you've gotta get Flame Sage's all new video, Cats Gone Wild! enter the lives of these hot kitty college students as they do things we're not allowed to show you, but we don't care anyway! *shows uncensored cat buttsecks* WOOO!*Flame Sage gets fired and this show gets sued, so we gotta put up with crappy budget cuts*
*because we have low budgets, we had to skip an entire 5 minute scene, and go right to where Tsukasa gets a new power*
Tsukasa: dude, this chick's mysterious
???: Tsukasa, can you here me?
Tsukasa: IT'S THE VOICE!
???: No you dumbass, I'm an omnipresent....god, yea..I'm god! muhahaha erm, um, Thou Shalt...Not...Wake up the Demon Girl, yea
Tsukasa: what should I do?
???: contact the slut
Tsukasa: ewww
???: I know you want a good time, Tsukasa, besides, you have a Guardian with you, you don't have to pay her
*flashback of Ginkan dying*
Tsukasa: sweeet! *thinks* AND I can have Maha, watch my new porn video, and make out with this sleeping chick while she's asleep, muhahaha
???: Tsukasa, I can hear you
Tsukasa: *gulp* oops
???: anyway, normally I'd be giving you a new power, but we got budget cuts, so use this *gives him magic looking key*
Tsukasa: what's this?
???: the Key of the Twilight
Tsukasa: isn't that supposed to be an intangible concept?
*Maha appears and erases Tsukasa's memories MIB style*
*Tsukasa meets Mimiru and Bear, blame budget cuts for scene skipping, damn you Flame Sage*
Tsukasa: what's the Scottsman doing here?
Mimiru: you didn't say to come alone
Tsukasa :yes I did, you dumb broad, are you illiterate?
Mimiru: *re-reads Email* oh that, I thought you were asking if I wanted a scone
Bear: so um, how come you can't log out?
Tsukasa: I dunno, dipshit, maybe because I'm not in my freaking body?
*Tsukasa's Shadow expands and whatnot looking demonic, WTF is up with that?*
Tsukasa's Shadow: *turns into an evil rogue AI* Hi!
EVERYONE: O.o
TS: um...did I come at a wrong time? >.>
EVERYONE: *nods*
TS: ok, meet you all in Net Slum *Gates Out*
Tsukasa: WTF?
Bear and Mimiru: *Step back*
Tsukasa: anyway...
Mimiru: dude, Ginkan, he's like, unconcious and stuff
Bear: you sorta killed Ginkan, you bastard!
Tsukasa: he had it coming
Mimiru: yea, true
Bear: dude, the Knights want you, wake up Neo, i mean, Tsukasa, the Matrix, er, World has you
Tsukasa: meh, my Guardian will kill them
Mimiru: and harm the real world players? you asshole!
Tsukasa: what do you want me to do about it?
Bear: how about NOT using your Guardian, dipshit
Tsukasa: point
Guardian: *appears and stuff*
Bear: *tries to be badass and tries to kill the guardian, even though it has freaking INFINITE health, dumbass*
Mimiru: *standing around scared like girls always do in horror movies, stupid broads*
Tsukasa: *isn't doing shit either, even though he CONTROLS the damn thing, time stops*
All: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!
Rectos Dominos
Your first chapter was golden, and this second one... silver...-
MaifunNoodle
- Lowbie
- Posts: 34
- Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 8:53 pm
sorry everyone, I know I can do better
Episode 3: Fairy Tales (suck..)
*we see Mac Anu, for some reason, it lags for a bit, stupid fan subs, Ginkan hacked the boat and now it's going fast again, stupid hypocrite*
Subaru: Ginkan...*insert babble here, I forgot*
Ginkan: Lady Subaru, I failed as a Sys. Mod
Subaru: dude, we're only players, we are playing these roles...NAD U R GODMODING U N00B!!11 STFU HAX!!!111 *goes GIFT form and kills Ginkan and disposes him in the river*
Bystander: OMG U KILLED GINKAN! U BASTARD *thinks* wait...
Subaru: *thinks* he knows too much *kills n00b and disposes of him, goes SIGN form and fake-cries* NO! why wont the PKing end? damn you patch T.T
*Dun Deiloung or whatever -.-*
BT: you believe me to believe that?
Bear: yea
BT: that story sux0rs, but why can Tsukasa do all this creepy stuff?
Bear: I don't know, I bet he hacked it
BT: yea, damn you Ginkan, oh yea, there's a secret item in the World, Key of the Twilight and stuff, Tsukasa has it, go look for it so I can steal it
Bear: what?
BT: um...nothing >.> hey, go meet Tsukasa IRL
Bear: Y'know, I WOULD, but there's the whole issue of him being in a freaking COMA you st00pid n00b
BT: T.T hmm, maybe he doesn't exist in the Real World at all, and he could be an AI *said too much, is killed, replaced by Big Tits, erm, BT, erm, Helba in BT drag .___. (is gonna get sued for this)*
*mmkay, it's some kind of, snowy fort place, we see a headless Grunty corpse, so Tsukasa's passed here, Sora jumps infront of Subaru*
Subaru: woah! what the hell is wrong with you?
Sora: I'm Sora
Subaru: ROFL! Sora's a girl's name you fairy! anyway, what do you want?
Sora: Key of the Twilight
Subaru: that doesn't exist you stupid n00b *walks off*
Sora: stop! we talk, or you lose your head *headlocks her*
*this discussion is skipped, budget cuts (damn you, Helba) we see Mimiry sitting on her ass, WTF?! doesn't she have anything better to do? apparently not, Bear walks up*
Bear: Yo
Mimiru: give it up, old man
Bear: T.T any calls from Tsukasa
Mimiru: not really, he doesn't really want to come to a whale's stomach where he not only got beat unconcious, but also got his spine broken and watched a guy get eaten by jello
Bear: understandable
Mimiru: *nod* yea, have you noticed that we havent introduced any new scenes?
Bear: blame the budget cuts
Mimiru: *nod* screw this, I'm leaving
*Aura's Domain, Aura's song, Awakening version is playing, even tho there is no awakening, WTF, why didn't they use this song in episode 26? it would've been better than peices of Open your Heart and Stray Child XP*
Tsukasa:*stares at Aura* I'm gonna poke her *pokes Aura with staff, has flashback of some cat, cat gets taken away, spash of color as monkeys start hula-hooping on giant skittles as the sun melts his father and there's ice cream for everybody and the kitty gets better* woah, acid trip *pokes Aura again and smiles as he starts tripping*
???: it's okay
Tsukasa: *blushes, glad he wasn't going to get busted*
Aura: shade her in your colors
Tsukasa: WTF does that mean?
???: *shrug* I dunno, I'm just a figmint of your imagination
Tsukasa: I thought you were God
???: STFU o.o
*Guardian appears, budget cuts kick in as we go to Mimiru fighting a lizard with a rock tied to a stick, if she can't kill this thing, she's branded a loser with EVERYONE watching her, everyone has popcorn and crap, fight scene commences, but is cut short, damn budget cuts, let's go to Mac Anu, Sora and Subaru appears, yay gibberish no one cares about, Tsukasa is the center of everything, budget cuts kick in so there's no room for jokes in this scene...commercial time*
Helba: Hey Kids! want a week of no school? want to get free video games and anime? want to destroy people's computers? go to http://thissiteisatrick.com and you'll learn how to hack for all the WRONG reasons, remember, if your computer crashes, that's a good thing, it means your learning
*commercial ends*
*Tsukasa laughs, which is rare, as he's training his Guardian*
Tsukasa: Good Girl, now we can go anywhere now, even though we could before with my teleporting power, but now we can PK people with our 133t sk177z
*Dun Durlang, god I wish I could spell it correctly, I hate this place, Mimiru is with a grunty, which licks her, turns into a Lickitung, and runs away*
Bear: OMFG POKEMAN DATA BUG! KILL IT!
Mimiru: oh yeh, Tsukasa called me, he wants to see me, but I don't wanna go, I already waited for the butthole for 5 hours, you go
Bear: fine T.T *Bear goes to the Cathedral, Helba's commercial saved our budget cuts, booyah!*
Tsukasa: WTF? I wanted the hot chick!
Bear: she doesn't want to come, you stood her up in the smelly whale stomach
Tsukasa: yea, I had it coming...oh, there's nothing wrong now
Bear: you can log out?
Tsukasa: no, the Real World sucks dude, there's no color in kansas *summons Guardian and shiz* it's aiight, yo
Guardian: *shakes hands with Tsukasa*
Tsukasa: ew! bad girl *beats the Guardian inhumanely*
Bear: dude, it's not "aiight" whatever that means, it's a freaking jello mold!
Tsukasa: well yea, but now people won't DIE at their freaking computers!
Bear: dude, that doesn't solve ANYTHING, your stuck in a damn game!
Tsukasa: oh go screw a tree, old man *gates out*
Mimiru: *comes in* ok im here
Bear: took you long enough, dumb broad, anyway, he left
Mimiru: oh T.T
*BT and Sora kinda appear at that well for some unfinished business*
Sora: what do you want?
BT: THIS! *pushes him in the well as he falls forever and dies, MaifunNoodle is Sora now*
*Ginkan and Subaru log in, Mimiru calls everyone over*
Subaru: Info on a player?
Bear: yea, your a Mod
Subaru: NO IM NOT YOU STUPID N00BS WTF >.<
Ginkan: anyway, Tsukasa's desert kicked my ass!
BT: LOL SUX 2 B U!
Bear: OMFG STFU LINE STEALER!
Mimiru: dude, Tsukasa's a victim too
Ginkan: no he ain't XP
Bear: dude, Ginkan, what dumbass would hack their character so that they couldn't log out, you idiot! oh yea, you would (damn hypocrite)
Ginkan: I heard that
*trippy flashback to the scene where the Guardian tried to kick Mimiru's ass, but Bear gets thrown back as Maha stops it with her 1337 skillz*
Ginkan: the CAT! OMFG CONSPIACAY!
Bear: OMFG CHCEK TEH LOOGS!
Noodle: LIEK OMFG EVRY1 TRADE MEMBER ADDRESSES!
EVERYONE: *does*
BT: OMFG TEH KYE FO TEH TWILGHLITE!
*insert Bong music*
EVERYONE: DUUUUUUUUUUDE *learns that why have crack when you can lick Aura like a toad*
Tsukasa and Guardian: *watches sunset holding hands, AHEM!*
Episode 3: Fairy Tales (suck..)
*we see Mac Anu, for some reason, it lags for a bit, stupid fan subs, Ginkan hacked the boat and now it's going fast again, stupid hypocrite*
Subaru: Ginkan...*insert babble here, I forgot*
Ginkan: Lady Subaru, I failed as a Sys. Mod
Subaru: dude, we're only players, we are playing these roles...NAD U R GODMODING U N00B!!11 STFU HAX!!!111 *goes GIFT form and kills Ginkan and disposes him in the river*
Bystander: OMG U KILLED GINKAN! U BASTARD *thinks* wait...
Subaru: *thinks* he knows too much *kills n00b and disposes of him, goes SIGN form and fake-cries* NO! why wont the PKing end? damn you patch T.T
*Dun Deiloung or whatever -.-*
BT: you believe me to believe that?
Bear: yea
BT: that story sux0rs, but why can Tsukasa do all this creepy stuff?
Bear: I don't know, I bet he hacked it
BT: yea, damn you Ginkan, oh yea, there's a secret item in the World, Key of the Twilight and stuff, Tsukasa has it, go look for it so I can steal it
Bear: what?
BT: um...nothing >.> hey, go meet Tsukasa IRL
Bear: Y'know, I WOULD, but there's the whole issue of him being in a freaking COMA you st00pid n00b
BT: T.T hmm, maybe he doesn't exist in the Real World at all, and he could be an AI *said too much, is killed, replaced by Big Tits, erm, BT, erm, Helba in BT drag .___. (is gonna get sued for this)*
*mmkay, it's some kind of, snowy fort place, we see a headless Grunty corpse, so Tsukasa's passed here, Sora jumps infront of Subaru*
Subaru: woah! what the hell is wrong with you?
Sora: I'm Sora
Subaru: ROFL! Sora's a girl's name you fairy! anyway, what do you want?
Sora: Key of the Twilight
Subaru: that doesn't exist you stupid n00b *walks off*
Sora: stop! we talk, or you lose your head *headlocks her*
*this discussion is skipped, budget cuts (damn you, Helba) we see Mimiry sitting on her ass, WTF?! doesn't she have anything better to do? apparently not, Bear walks up*
Bear: Yo
Mimiru: give it up, old man
Bear: T.T any calls from Tsukasa
Mimiru: not really, he doesn't really want to come to a whale's stomach where he not only got beat unconcious, but also got his spine broken and watched a guy get eaten by jello
Bear: understandable
Mimiru: *nod* yea, have you noticed that we havent introduced any new scenes?
Bear: blame the budget cuts
Mimiru: *nod* screw this, I'm leaving
*Aura's Domain, Aura's song, Awakening version is playing, even tho there is no awakening, WTF, why didn't they use this song in episode 26? it would've been better than peices of Open your Heart and Stray Child XP*
Tsukasa:*stares at Aura* I'm gonna poke her *pokes Aura with staff, has flashback of some cat, cat gets taken away, spash of color as monkeys start hula-hooping on giant skittles as the sun melts his father and there's ice cream for everybody and the kitty gets better* woah, acid trip *pokes Aura again and smiles as he starts tripping*
???: it's okay
Tsukasa: *blushes, glad he wasn't going to get busted*
Aura: shade her in your colors
Tsukasa: WTF does that mean?
???: *shrug* I dunno, I'm just a figmint of your imagination
Tsukasa: I thought you were God
???: STFU o.o
*Guardian appears, budget cuts kick in as we go to Mimiru fighting a lizard with a rock tied to a stick, if she can't kill this thing, she's branded a loser with EVERYONE watching her, everyone has popcorn and crap, fight scene commences, but is cut short, damn budget cuts, let's go to Mac Anu, Sora and Subaru appears, yay gibberish no one cares about, Tsukasa is the center of everything, budget cuts kick in so there's no room for jokes in this scene...commercial time*
Helba: Hey Kids! want a week of no school? want to get free video games and anime? want to destroy people's computers? go to http://thissiteisatrick.com and you'll learn how to hack for all the WRONG reasons, remember, if your computer crashes, that's a good thing, it means your learning
*commercial ends*
*Tsukasa laughs, which is rare, as he's training his Guardian*
Tsukasa: Good Girl, now we can go anywhere now, even though we could before with my teleporting power, but now we can PK people with our 133t sk177z
*Dun Durlang, god I wish I could spell it correctly, I hate this place, Mimiru is with a grunty, which licks her, turns into a Lickitung, and runs away*
Bear: OMFG POKEMAN DATA BUG! KILL IT!
Mimiru: oh yeh, Tsukasa called me, he wants to see me, but I don't wanna go, I already waited for the butthole for 5 hours, you go
Bear: fine T.T *Bear goes to the Cathedral, Helba's commercial saved our budget cuts, booyah!*
Tsukasa: WTF? I wanted the hot chick!
Bear: she doesn't want to come, you stood her up in the smelly whale stomach
Tsukasa: yea, I had it coming...oh, there's nothing wrong now
Bear: you can log out?
Tsukasa: no, the Real World sucks dude, there's no color in kansas *summons Guardian and shiz* it's aiight, yo
Guardian: *shakes hands with Tsukasa*
Tsukasa: ew! bad girl *beats the Guardian inhumanely*
Bear: dude, it's not "aiight" whatever that means, it's a freaking jello mold!
Tsukasa: well yea, but now people won't DIE at their freaking computers!
Bear: dude, that doesn't solve ANYTHING, your stuck in a damn game!
Tsukasa: oh go screw a tree, old man *gates out*
Mimiru: *comes in* ok im here
Bear: took you long enough, dumb broad, anyway, he left
Mimiru: oh T.T
*BT and Sora kinda appear at that well for some unfinished business*
Sora: what do you want?
BT: THIS! *pushes him in the well as he falls forever and dies, MaifunNoodle is Sora now*
*Ginkan and Subaru log in, Mimiru calls everyone over*
Subaru: Info on a player?
Bear: yea, your a Mod
Subaru: NO IM NOT YOU STUPID N00BS WTF >.<
Ginkan: anyway, Tsukasa's desert kicked my ass!
BT: LOL SUX 2 B U!
Bear: OMFG STFU LINE STEALER!
Mimiru: dude, Tsukasa's a victim too
Ginkan: no he ain't XP
Bear: dude, Ginkan, what dumbass would hack their character so that they couldn't log out, you idiot! oh yea, you would (damn hypocrite)
Ginkan: I heard that
*trippy flashback to the scene where the Guardian tried to kick Mimiru's ass, but Bear gets thrown back as Maha stops it with her 1337 skillz*
Ginkan: the CAT! OMFG CONSPIACAY!
Bear: OMFG CHCEK TEH LOOGS!
Noodle: LIEK OMFG EVRY1 TRADE MEMBER ADDRESSES!
EVERYONE: *does*
BT: OMFG TEH KYE FO TEH TWILGHLITE!
*insert Bong music*
EVERYONE: DUUUUUUUUUUDE *learns that why have crack when you can lick Aura like a toad*
Tsukasa and Guardian: *watches sunset holding hands, AHEM!*
Rectos Dominos
-
thedudewhosadude
- Legend
- Posts: 1462
- Joined: Fri May 02, 2003 8:13 pm
Mmmm, delicious net-talk! d00d, dis ish liek, teh shiznat! Actually, this is the first parody fan fic we've had in a while. I like it, just like others said before, the Maha MIB erase thing...a bit redundant. Kinda like the whole Shugo loosing a tooth thing, and the Great will of the Macrocasm resetting the world in Excel Saga. Another thing I give you credit for it updating! Most people (Looks at a mirror) forget about their stories and don't bother to update them. However, you've managed two stories at once! Good Job!
You're only young once, but you're NEVER too old to be immature.