F.R.A.G.M.E.N.T.

Flame Sage · Post by **Flame Sage** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 1:51 pm

(Heh this is my first fanfic, I actually dreamed most of this, and sorry if it gets weird, my dreams ARE weird) XD
(Note: This is not really me talking, it's just a main character in the story, lets call him... Adam.)
(Note: This takes place WAY after anything of the .hack//Dusk series)
Chapter 1

It was a nice spring day at school, one that was built by a programer, no one really knew his name, he just walked up to the headmaster one day and gave him the building, told the headmaster it would make a good school. Well anyway, it was lunch time and I was getting hungry. So I ran down to the cafeteria and grabed some lunch, I sat down my friends and started eating. They just jabbered on with "The World". I knew it was a huge hit, and I played some times too, but RPGs wernt really my thing.
Anyway, I went to the bathroom beacause there wasnt much of anything else to do, when I went into the stall I fount an unusual crack in the floorpanel. I zipped up my pants, and slid the panel to the right to uncover a trap door! I opened it to find a huge room! It looked like no one had touched it in years... So I scouted around to find some papers.. "Harold's Notes.", I muttered, "The effects of sound","AI for Dummys",the list went on and on! And then I saw a computer, ya know one of those really really old models... so I booted it up, and suprisingly it had power. I saw a program on the desktop that was called "Fragment". So I decided to boot it up!
(Note: This is on the OLD version of Fragment, it was then when he sent it to CC Courp)
It seemed just like
"The World" in many ways, except it had no login screen, and seemed just to jump me into the online world! Except... no one WAS online.
So I decided to go to a field that was on the list "Cursed Passed Over Holy Ground". When I got there, I was in this warped dungen.... And every so often I heard theese weird noses on the computer... I seemed to want to play for hours and hours on end, I was suppriesed no one was looking for me.. "Allright!" I said to myself, the end of the dungen...
But when I got there... I fount an old man.. he seemed to talk to me.. "Aura.." "She is our hope.." "Don't you agree?"... "Yes" I said...
We seemed to talk for about 30 minutes, this guy.. whomever he was kept on talking about Aura, he gave me some item with a weird name, all I know is its ending was .cyl... once the coversation got to deep for me to even understand, I told him I had to go, and used something called a "Warp Chain" to exit the dougen. But when I got back to the field, I saw this girl in red... she seemed to stare at me.. She lifted her hands, and all of a sudden, I heard this sharp noise... and then everything went black...

Chapter Two is comming soon... PLEASE post your feedback.

JRHACKER · Post by **JRHACKER** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 8:12 pm

This is cool, but shouldn't it be in something else? No, wait, this IS the best place for it. If you saw the floor part-way open, someone put it that way. Incorporate(put in) your story. you have to figure out whats up with aura, get outof the game, and figure out who wanted to trap you in the game and then destroy, no completley obliterate that person. Then you learn to love rpgs. Then you go back into the game and play for hours.

YamiJared · Post by **YamiJared** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:03 pm

wow, Jr, way to be a total ass! this was very good though! Keep it up! although there are a few plotholes and errors here and there, I'm sure they'll patch up ^^ also, there are some typos you should fix O.o otherwise this is GREAT!

JRHACKER · Post by **JRHACKER** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:40 pm

First off, watch your language.
Secondly, I was only giving my oppinion on what I thought was going to happen, or what should happen.
And yes I did think it was pretty sweet, considering my dreams consist of flying blue elephants and the like.
Sorry if I made you fell bad, Flame Sage.

Flame Sage · Post by **Flame Sage** » Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:26 pm

Um.. that was wasnt Aura.. -.- that was Lycoris

Duskino · Post by **Duskino** » Sat Sep 11, 2004 3:34 pm

Well, this 'fic is most definately AU... Not that that's a bad thing.

It has good potential. Though, a bit more detail about a lot of things could come into play. Could've easily made this into a lot longer chapter.

^^; eh... I'm being grammar picky again..

Flame Sage · Post by **Flame Sage** » Sat Sep 11, 2004 7:18 pm

Whats AU?
And hmm I was thinking of letting you guys continue the story ^^;;
But what plot holes are happening?

Duskino · Post by **Duskino** » Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:02 pm

AU is Alternative Universe.

It applies to fanfics that take a storyline to something and alter it greatly. Like, this one. Harold never created a school with some super hi-tech stuff in it. Lycoris and Aura were never around at the same time, etc. etc.

Not critisizing at all, just explaining what an AU is.

And for information's sake, there's also canon, where a fic begins exactly how the storyline went, but then, i.e. the UdeDen anime, branches off from the actual storyline and continues it how the author sees fit.

apostle13 · Post by **apostle13** » Sun Sep 12, 2004 6:42 pm

Yay! I love reading you guys' fanfics, they're soo cool, I might make one myself o.o. this one looks like it's going to be good one :p

JRHACKER · Post by **JRHACKER** » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:27 pm

I would love to see the next chap. If you want i could help with anything. I love to write. Just pm me

JRHACKER · Post by **JRHACKER** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:12 pm

Ok boyz & gulz, lets get to work. I just got permission from the author to continue this on my own, but I would like to make this a group effort. if you have ideas, please pm them to me and I will edit and post them.( I f they are story worthy.) I'm not saying they won't be, just that I don't want a bunch of junk about nothing to do with the story. So pleeze give me your input in a pm.
Thanx,
Ron

YamiJared · Post by **YamiJared** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 12:42 am

Not to be offensive, but could the author prove this? anyway, I have several ideas, and I could write a chapter for this if you want

JRHACKER · Post by **JRHACKER** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 7:27 pm

I take no offense, and if he reads this, then yes he could. like I said, pm the info to me and I will post if apropriate.

Flame Sage · Post by **Flame Sage** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 8:15 pm

Yeah, I said he could "continue" it, but in the other post he's like "taking control" >.>;;; But anyway, yeah.

JRHACKER · Post by **JRHACKER** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:58 pm

I don't want to take over, I just want to make sure it staysorderly. if everybody has an idea for chapter 2 and then posts it, it becomes disorderly, and then people will reply to certain posts, and everybody will be doing like 7 differentstorys were there should onlybe 1.
That is why I took some form of control, to keep order. If there is no order there will be anarchy. Anarchy is bad for this type of post (a story).
I want ot make sure this post gets to continue for awhile before the mods decide to shut it down(knock on wood). so let someone have some control. Since you pm'd me about it and said I could take over the post, I took control.I hope I have affended nobody cause I am not trying to.