'Fics in progress.

[Duskino]

Like the title says, fanfiction in progress. I'm usually pretty slow when it comes to writing (haa. anyone who visits my FFNet page would know). Though, I figured I might post what I have of two stories I have going on; would like to know what y'all think of them.

They're both untitled, since I really suck at titles. ¬¬;

-----
This first one is from Elk's POV, taking place after the games. Started this one a few months ago and still trying to finish the first chapter... ^^; (Plot bunnies attack me, but always vaguely -_-)
-----

My reason for starting this game had always been because I wanted to meet new people; something I couldn’t accomplish well in the real world. Now that I had them, I didn’t want to loose them. After our adventure in “The World� had settled down, and everything seemed safe, there just wasn’t much to it anymore.

It almost seemed if my reasons to continue were slipping away.

Mia and I were waiting in a far back alley of Mac Anu. This was originally our meeting place whenever we planned to get together, but it turned into the group’s hang-out spot.

I inched my eyes toward Mia, who stared off into the nearby river. Her usually piercing, yellow eyes looked serene. The tip of her tail swished from side to side slowly. For as long as I’ve known her, it still was difficult to tell whether she was in deep thought or merely enjoying the scenery. It made me wonder, what did she do when she was by herself? She didn’t exist anywhere else but here... and I couldn’t stay here for as long as I wanted.

Even if my reasons to continue playing “The World� any further were slowly fading, I still wanted to be with my best friend. Mia was one of the main reasons why I remained. I couldn’t just leave her alone in this world.

I shook my head, hoping to get the current thoughts out of my mind.

“Elk, are you all right?� Mia asked.

I looked up to her, but quickly turned away. “Yeah, I’m... I’m fine.�

But Mia knew something was bothering me.

“Well,� she started. “It seems as if we’re a bit early.�

Today, Kite and BlackRose were supposed to show up. Usually there were others, like Mistral or Natsume, but today it was just us four.

The loud noise of clanging armor was heard beyond the corner. Just by that, it was obvious BlackRose would appear.

“Hey!� She happily greeted as she turned. “Kite’s not here yet?�

“Nope,� replied Mia. “Does he have anything planned?�

“I got an e-mail from him. He wants to conquer another dungeon.� BlackRose replied the last bit dully. “I don’t understand why, though. Our levels are high enough already. There’s hardly a challenge out there anymore.�

Mia stepped away from the wall, standing up straight. She followed along the path toward BlackRose, striding with her graceful, feline movements. BlackRose gave what looked like a puzzled expression. Mia’s eyes glimmered with life, when something was burning within her mind. She stopped walking only when she reached BlackRose’s side.

“But you see,� Mia’s voice purred, soft and slowly, but almost intense. “You can’t look at it and think, ‘it’s just another field, with just another dungeon’. Even if the monsters are weaklings... Each and every quest is different, with something exciting each time.� A grin was pasted amongst her face. “It all depends on the people. Play your role properly, and even within the levels of Mac Anu can a strong hero have fun.�

-------
Nnyep. @_@ Thas' about it.
Next one! Takes place during game four, before you fight Macha. Spoilers ahead, I -think-, not sure about what I'm posting, but later when I get some done, it will ^^;
This one wasn't intended to be light hearted and comedic like I usually write. In fact, it's kind of depressing--not angst, god forbid, but depressing. Wanted to make it more Liminality-ish than game-ish, but eh... the two kind of got mixed in together.
--------

It may have just been virtual–just a game–but the ones who came to be the saviors and a lone Wavemaster could almost feel the immense power. Controllers were clutched even tighter as the viral infection grew rapidly and far greater than ever.

Her debut was graceful; the form she took was much different than the ones before her. The song released from her lips was much like a Siren’s. Enchanting, but the tone was that of your demise.

Finally, her song ended, and she stared from afar the ones who dare try to take her down.

The only sound left was one coming from a young boy in blue robes, crying out his best friend’s name. She was far from reach, however. The only voice she could hear and would obey was the one of her mistress.

* * *

“I don’t believe it...�

The elegant city of Mac Anu had been corrupted for a while, but now... it seemed dark. Others were completely oblivious to the dire events happening around them. They would never understand why the world seemed to come crashing down on the small group that did know. Passer-byers couldn’t understand that gloomy aura that surrounded an even smaller group at the moment.

“I can’t believe it...� Out of frustration, the armor-clad Heavyblade let her large sword slip from her fingers and plummet to the brick pathway, clinging loudly and surprising those nearby. “If only–I’ll–I’ll kill the bastard responsible for this–for doing this to Kazu!�

“BlackRose... we can’t help it.� his words were soft, but straightforward. “You know as well as I do... it’s the game.�

“I don’t care who it is!� BlackRose shouted, catching even more attention from nearby players. “I... Kazu...�

“What happened to Mia?� Elk whimpered, almost too low for anyone to hear. “Why did Mia...? Kite, what did you do?�

The red-orange Twinblade lowered his eyes. The one responsibility that lay on his shoulders, one that many depended their very lives on him... and he couldn’t do it. The Wave was gaining more power than anyone, or anything, could withstand.

Three heads shot up surprisingly at the cue of a familiar ‘bri-ing!’

“Helba!� Kite and BlackRose announced simultaneously. Elk cocked his head; He wasn’t too familiar with the super hacker.

* * *

She sat. Stared. Wished she knew just what she could do other than staring. Visiting didn’t help–it never did. He never knew she was there. If what the ex-CC Corp programmer said was true, than the only thing he’d be concerned about right now is trying to figure how to get himself out of there.

Where ever ‘there’ happened to be.

She didn’t know. The game was a foreign land to her.

Minase Mai’s deep brown eyes gazed down at the comatose Tomanari. All she could think about was why her–why not him too? Theories had been brought up–seemingly good ones at that–but something inside her refused at accept them. A game wouldn’t make exceptions, especially not to a brand new player.

-------

That's the jist of it @_@ Comments? Critisism? Questions? Cookies?

[thedudewhosadude]

Comments: I really like the first one, you're very good at setting a mood! Only one complaint, and it's the word 'loose'; it should be 'lose'....there's some rhyme like "I lose an o and become lost" that's used to help remember that....or maybe I just made that up 0_o...yeah. Anyway, the second one is also quite nice; I particularly like the shifting POV.

Critisism: Sorry, none really...the plot hasn't quite made itself apparent yet, but the only thing I can think of involves the second story. It's from the third person, yet it shifts from location to location. I dunno, it's just a tad bit strange to me...I mainly had difficulty trying to figure out who Mai was (I mean that I didn't catch on to who it was immediately) Unfortunatly, I can't think of any other way to phrase it, as I've had a weak spot with shifting POV.

Questions: Only regarding the second story. Is this an A.U. fic, where Kazu gets DDed by Macha? If not, then why does Blackrose suddenly go into her rage? Also, what is this bri-ing noise? Is it the "liminality note"?

Cookies: On a cookie scale from 9/10, you get 9....3 chocolate chip, 3 butter, and 3 sugar. The only thing setting it apart from a 10 is that the plot hasn't quite yet emerged, yet, so it's somewhat hard to "grade."

Other than that, good job!

[Duskino]

Questions: Only regarding the second story. Is this an A.U. fic, where Kazu gets DDed by Macha? If not, then why does Blackrose suddenly go into her rage? Also, what is this bri-ing noise? Is it the "liminality note"?

Oh. CRAP. Yes. I almost forgot to mention--second story is canon... _-_;;

'bri-ing' noise is e-mail.

But yes, thank you for your comments--I'll definately take them into account.

The shifting POV thing. Ahh.. well the story is supposed to show what happens between the Game world and the Real World. I apologize for confusion. I guess it's not confusing to me, since I'm the one writing it ^_^; Meeh. Once there's more, I -hope- it won't be as confusing.

[Lunarcloud_88]

Comments: I love how the first one opens. You really get a feel for Elk
AND it's beleivable too! I didn't read the 2nd b/c I've yet to get the
4th game (XMAS!!!!), but so far, I love your style!

Critisism: Not really.

Questions: Don't you think PVP would solve Blackrose's problem.

Cookies: for the first only... 10/10, but there isn't much yet to grade
but the interest I have for the rest of your story and your style.