1. Paragraphs. One thing that will immediately kill off a fanfic is the lack of paragraphs. But even if you do include breaks in your story, you need to know where to put them. For example:
Now, look at where I placed the paragraph break; it was immediately before a new character spoke, the new character in question being Mistral. Do not have more than one character speaking in the same paragraph."You know, I'm wondering whether or not there are any people today who actually accepted most of Freud's ideas. Some of his points had validity, but I'm not feeling him for the most part." Kite turned to his ally Mistral, who didn't look responsive at the least. "Hey, Mistral, did you hear me?"
"OMG A/S/L? =)"
2. Canonity. Some authors prefer to write fanfics that can plausibly fit within the core story's timeline. There's nothing wrong with that. But to flame over canonity is self-defeating and pointless because an insightful Tsukasa retrospective is about as canon as that fanfic where Subaru is a young Hispanic inmate with a scar on his right eye obtained from the liquor store robbery where he got busted in Louisiana.
3. Crappy Humor/"RANDOMNESS." I have seen like a billion fanfics for like a billion shows/movies/games/ that involve the main characters hosting a game show or what not. I've also seen a bunch of stories creatively titled "______ RANDOMNESS." It's when the author believes that meshing random crap together to form a story is entertaining.
Um, no.
Humor is something that needs to be approached seriously. You need to pay special attention to your timing and balance between humorous portions of a story. Personally, I can't agree with writing a story that's 100% humorous all the time, with jokes being knocked every time someone says something. That's not to say I don't like humorous fanfics; most of my fanfics are humorous. But I always had something going on in the background, (either that, or the humor itself was the background and the foregroudn was an action story). I would say, if you're going to craft a humorous story, it'd be best to blend it with something else (like action and adventure elements).
4. Beta Reading. Beta reading is the process of having someone read your work for you before you publish it. Your beta reader gives you comments and critiques, and you may or may not use them. Simple enough.
...so with that said and done, someone beta read this as of yet untitled and unfinished .hack fanfic I wrote a while ago.
The Bear character model was leaning on a wall in Mac Anu. His player was probably away for some time, because Bear appeared to Sora to be a blank-eyed corpse of a character.
“HEY! The town might drenched in a sunset, but it’s close to my bedtime and I’m stretching it by five minutes! ... Oh, that’s it. You’re so getting pwned.� Sora sighed, and placed a qatar to Bear’s neck-
“There’s a reason I don’t player kill.� Bear suddenly snapped back, and Sora retracted his weapon, only slightly startled. “It’s because I would break the game.�
“You don’t need to kiss your ass because I’m not impressed. ... But I’m real-l-l-l-y pressed for time. I need your help.� Sora placed his hands together, almost as if he were about to grovel. Bear placed his hand on his chin, scratching the tiny, digital hairs that grew from it.
“I’m sorry I made you wait for so long that it’s probable that your TV and/or computer privileges will get revoked...but I’ve become much busier over the past few, weeks especially, that I’ve only been able to develop my own character about a couple levels. So I don’t know how much use I’ll be of to-�
“Aw man, get to the point already!�
“Well, I don’t know if I can help you.�
“It won’t take long. I promise.� Sora sent Bear a link to a message board thread on The World’s BBS. It was interestingly titled The World’s Third Annual Fanfiction Contest. Bear cringed. “We all have our share of secrets old man, but a little birdie whispered into my ear once that you were a wri-�
“No,� Bear quickly snapped back.
“What, are you ashamed of being a novelist? Personally, I don’t know what’s so great about novels...unless they’re written by J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter’s awesome! But I do find fanfiction to be interesting. It’s like, reading about playing The World! That’s badass! It’s a moot point though, since you don’t even want your Bear character to be associated with your real life persona, right? I wouldn’t be surprised if you wouldn’t wanna admit to being a wri-� Sora’s voice was interrupted by what seemed to be a holler from his room. The holler became clear as the voice of an irate mother.
“Didn’t I tell you...to go to bed?�
“Aw, mom! This is IM-POR-TANT.�
“Don’t YOU lecture me on what’s important, MISTER! [.hack//SIGN spoilers] [spoiler]And that better not be the COMA game you’re playing!�
“I’m telling you mom, I wasn’t in a coma! I was just in a nightmare I couldn’t wake from! The kind of nightmare you get when you’re deprived of your favorite video games!� [/spoiler]
Belt crack.
“Oh crap, oh crap!� Two more belt cracks. “Sorry, sorry!� Back in The World, it appeared as if Sora’s character was being attacked by an invisible goliath of an enemy. It was a humorous sight for Bear. Bear made a mental note to himself to come back next week - no doubt because that’s probably the amount of time his gaming privileges will be restricted - and learn exactly what the ill-fated lad wanted from him in the first place.
